is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
