I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize