Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
