Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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