I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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