i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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