doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize