It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
