I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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