On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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