yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize