I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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