If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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