Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize