I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
