that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
