yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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