I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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