I'm lost and stupid without you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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