we're blogging at a bar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
