I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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