NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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