Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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