I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
