Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize