I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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