who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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