So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
