He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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