I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
