So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
