How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
