i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
