Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
