he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
tell me about the eggs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
