yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
