As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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