I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
