As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
