I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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