I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize