you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
