Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
