I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
