you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im holly from the hills drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
