I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
