Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
A+ Viking dick
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
