he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
