After last night, I could never be a politician.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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