i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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