I cut my penus on the lid.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
