I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I bet he comes in French.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
50% drunk capacity currently
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
