Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
