That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
