i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
