You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Shame is for Republicans.
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