I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
