When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
