This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
