So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
