I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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