I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
