Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
