the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
