I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize