I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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