I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
