I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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