he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
