"it" just moved
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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